Hello, Kitty!

I'll admit it, I love eBay. I love to waste time there looking to see what ridiculous things people place up for auction, love to buy Miss M's clothes there for dirt cheap, and love to stumble upon things that make me say "Ohmigawd... I remember those!" You know, things of that nature.

I have the most adorable little corduroy jumper dress for the upcoming fall and winter seasons for Miss M, but had no shirt to go with it. It's an odd shade of plumish-purpley that not just any old shirt will match. So I turned to eBay to find something that will look decent with this adorable, incredibly-hard-to-match corduroy jumper dress. And I found it! A nice little turtleneck of a shirt that fits the dress perfectly -- SUCCESS!

The dang eBay seller has it out for me, though. She ever-so-thoughtfully included a free gift in the package, that I received today. A lovely pair of pinky-pink Hello Kitty socks that are at least 3 sizes too big for Miss M. Found that out while dressing her in the new clothes to see if they would fit her. Okay, that's no problem, got some socks for the future. I proceed to strip Miss M down to her diaper to re-dress her in her little 90-degree-weather outfit she had been wearing. However, when I began to pull the socks off, my darling little sweetheart of a child was suddenly possessed by the Devil and a savage "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" escaped her perfect little bow-shaped lips. She absolutely REFUSES to take them off. "Cat. Cat. Cat. Cat," she keeps saying, while pointing to the hideously awkward-looking socks on her feet.

I can't win against these socks. She's obsessed. Hooked. Addicted. In love.

Sigh.

The Time Has Come

It's time to get my butt in gear and finally lose the baby weight I gained. I saw a full-length picture of myself the other day and just about died. How in the Hell did I not realize how AWFUL I look? I gained 90 -- yes, NINETY -- pounds while pregnant with Miss M... I've lost 16 of those. A 16 lb. weight loss in nearly 20 months. There's no excuse for it, although I have plenty ready. (No energy, no time, blah blah blah.)

I've begun taking steps to get my mindset in place. I've done this before, I know I can do it again. It's just a matter of commitment on my part, and that's the hard part. I always put myself last, and that has to change. I've gone out and purchased lots of produce, meats, eggs, yogurt, and whole grains. I'm forcing down water with a little bit of juice mixed in. (The amount of juice will slowly be reduced until I'm back to drinking gallons of only water.) I've begun doing my back-strengthening exercises since I have scoliosis. And I ordered more copies of the video tapes that worked for me last time, since I threw them out for some damn reason.

I will get myself together and accomplish this, in a healthy way. As of last night, I weighed 219. My goal is 150. 150 on a 5'6" body is probably still too much, but it's a Hell of a lot better than 219!!!!

Wish me luck!

Dribbles

Miss M's daycare closed for vacation last week, so I stayed home from work and enjoyed some family time with my kiddo. Lots of special things took place, which I'll share more of at a later date, but this... this was great. I gave her her first ice cream cone ever, and she devoured it with lightning speed... complete with exclamations of "Mmmm!!!" and all. I tried to video tape it, but stupid me couldn't figure out what was going on with the recorder (later realized I had it set to night vision for some odd reason), and I missed out on capturing this first. I was quite bummed, but there will be other opportunities to get ice cream cone devouring on video... especially since it doesn't really cool down here until October!

I Believe in Signs

I got nostalgic tonight, for some reason. Pulled out the DVD that had Miss M's first Christmas and birthday on it and curled up on the couch to relive those precious moments.

First, I got teary-eyed over how much she's changed in the course of 7 months. It's amazing. Watching her awkward first steps, listening to her call everything in sight "DOG!," and seeing her face light up at the sight of her birthday balloons. I'm am fighting tears as I sit now and write this.

My sweet reminiscing was rudely interrupted when I realized the sperm donor was about to make an appearance about halfway through the recording of her birthday. It was the last time he saw his daughter. He couldn't be bothered with showing up for her first Christmas, nor could he make the effort to arrive at a timely and baby-friendly hour on her birthday. Sure enough, after all the birthday gifts where unwrapped and played with, and the birthday cake served, here he came waltzing through the front door.

About this time, Miss M came to curl up with me on the couch... tired of figuring out how her name was coming out of the television. I snuggled with her as I was overcome with sorrow and anger. Sorrow in that she is frozen in time to him at that age. He has no idea the little person she's developed into since that time. Sorrow for her because he doesn't give a damn about her to find out who she's become. Anger for him being an ass and deciding this precious little girl is nothing in his eyes. My tears spilled over my eyelids, onto my cheeks... and my lap was filled with a wet warmth.

Yes folks, she peed on me. Right as I was giving into the heartache and emotions that my seeing him and reliving the day caused, my little girl brought me back to the here and now. And for that, I am ever so grateful. I'm still a little weepy here and there, but I think that's mostly due to having face the fact that my baby is growing up way too fast, and I absolutely HATE that.

Today I almost gave in. Almost gave into the past. And if it hadn't been for Miss M, I wouldn't have been able to keep my brave face on.

Dijon Mustard Turkey Burgers

1 lb. ground turkey
3 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
2 Tbsp. sour cream
3 Tbsp. Vidalia onions, minced
1 tsp. seasoned salt
1 tsp. white pepper

In medium bowl, mix together all ingredients until evenly distributed. Shape the mixture into 4 patties.

Now, you can grill these if you'd like, but I'm not much of a griller. Instead, I pan-fried each patty 5 minutes on each side. Make sure to let these patties sit before cutting into them, so as to not lose all their yummy juiciness... and they ARE juicy... and very flavorful. Miss M loves them just as much as I do, so they've gone into dinner rotation in our household.

The Opening

<---- See her? That's my life right there. My world revolves around her every second of every day, and I wouldn't change it for anything. She shall be referred to as Miss M. Miss M enjoys food. Seriously enjoys food -- eating it, seeing it, and sticking it in her nose and ears. (Yes.) She loves baths, begs for them. Squeals in eardrum-shattering delight any time she sees an animal of any sort. Reading books, running, dancing, singing, twirling in dizzying circles, and playing in the rain are among her favorites as well.

She says a multitude of words... surprises me every day with what she repeats. She picks up on things SO quickly. Is the most polite 18 month old I've met, saying please and thank you with no prompting at all.

She pats my back when she hugs me, as if she can sense that I need it. She's stingy with her kisses. (It absolutely crushes me when she denies me of one!) She's ticklish from head to toe, has an infectious belly laugh, can make herself burp on purpose, puts absolutely EVERYTHING in her mouth, has decided she's a big girl and wants to sit on the potty... and so much more.

She has no daddy, just someone who has chosen to be nothing more to her than a sperm donor. she doesn't know the word 'daddy.' But that's okay. She's got an amazing amount of love and support from my family... grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and beyond -- as well as daily caregivers who give her structure and adore her. And hopefully, I'll someday have a man in my life who will LOVE to be a daddy to her. I've surrounded her with a great group of people, and while she doesn't know the concept of a daddy, she DOES know what it is to be loved and happy.

That's my Miss M, my sunshine, my life, in a nutshell.